The Boring Song

A Doctor stood in a downtown hotel
He had a slide projector and a full carousel
He showed 68 slides then we got a reprieve
His beeper went off and he had to leave.

He was boring never a laugh
We were snoring he showed graph after graph
I couldn't understand half.

A health educator took the stage
She earned about a quarter of the doctor's wage
She talked in jargon at the top of her lungs
And I thought for a moment that she spoke in tongues.

She was boring with every breath
Killed more people than Lady MacBeth
She simply bored them to death.

I don't like committees or A.G.M.s
I never go to meetings like them
With the Robert's Rules and Robert's Laws
I wonder just who Robert was?

I bet he was boring, a horrible man
Vanilla conductor of a colorless band
The bland leading the bland.

If you want to help people take their hand
And talk in language they can understand
Show some enthusiasm, do your best
Laugh a lot and often say yes.

Don't be boring, it's bad for your health
Minds will close up like books on a shelf
You'll get bored with yourself.

Martin Collis