You're The Guru

Tired and weary
Broken and blue
Too much theory
I need a guru

To help me lose weight
To help with my stress
They're on the Internet
They're on P.B.S.

If the Guru du Jour
Just isn't for you
Head to the bookstore
For a g'nother Guru.

I've been Andrew Weil'd
I've been Oprah'd
Steven Coveyed
Deepak Chopra'd

And just when I think
Everything's wrong
Antony Robbins
Comes bob-bob-bobbin' along

I've been Susan Powtered
On every diet
Atkins to the Zone
You write it I'll buy it

I've been Richard Simmons'd
Is it her or him
My body is fat
My wallet is thin

Just when I think
My fat cells are wrong
Antony Robbins
Comes bob-bob-bobbin' along.

There's only one Guru
That can help you win
It's walking around
Inside your skin

You are the trainer
The dietician is you
You're the psychologist
You're the Guru

Martin Collis