by Nancy Wardle, M.D.

When it comes to living a balanced life, people often distress themselves with the idea that balance must be maintained at all times. Balance, however, is not a stillpoint, it is a process. My belief is that our health is based on our ability to restore balance in the face of continual disruption. This is one of my favourite descriptions of health. Notice that it does not say that being well is about being balanced, but rather it is the skill of regaining equilibrium, even when challenged, that makes the crucial difference. A tightrope walker is able to balance by making moment to moment adjustments, not by staying rigidly upright.

In order to do this we need to be willing to recognize what is disruptive and unbalancing for us, each in our unique way, and how we feel physically and emotionally when it happens. (For example, what disturbs your partner may not disturb you and vice versa.) It is equally important to pay attention to what balances us, what contributes to our alignment and to a state of flow. As Shakespeare noted, "That which does not flow, sticks, stays, and muddies into a sickened pool."

In the act of being attentive to our own lives, we begin to see patterns and forces more clearly and then can act on them more directly. One of my patients told me that it wasn’t her breast cancer that was disruptive as much as the unsolicited advice on what to do about it that overwhelmed her. She took action by making it clear she only wanted information and support she asked for.

In situations where we cannot change an identified disruptor, we can learn new ways of responding rather than reacting to it. I am not able to control people who run yellow/red lights, and I am able to balance my frustration (sometimes fear) by being more cautious myself. Balance is a by-product of learning to act on the Zen belief that it is not what is happening but how one handles what is happening that matters.

In this way, balancing becomes the practice of using messages from our minds and bodies and spirits to achieve a sense of personal harmony and wholeness. We are constantly receiving information that can help us choose, sometimes moment to moment, what will contribute to a sense of "being at home and at ease in one’s own skin". If we are willing to be attentive, we can make appropriate and necessary adjustments.

I once looked at my daytimer of appointments and circled the patients with whom I was struggling, the sessions that were most depleting. It was only in this stopping and looking that I realized how unbalanced my scheduling was and I was able to book my days so that ‘difficult’ was balanced by easier work. It was also an opportunity for me to be compassionate and caring about my own needs and limitations. Balancing is an on-going, life-long, lifesaving, learning curve.

The keys to balance are attentive awareness followed by responsive action with an acceptance that life is a constant disruption. There is no right or wrong to balancing. When you feel balanced, pay attention and learn from it. When you feel unbalanced, pay attention and learn from it. You are your own best teacher.

In the tradition of "WELL" here are some concepts that will encourage the act of restoring balance, each supporting each other in the form of an acronym of BALANCE:

"We see that vibrant harmony does not mean a balance-at-rest but a vibrant bi-polar energy force that urges on all other energy."

Matthew Fox