| Fall 2000 | Volume II, Issue III |
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L Is For Love by Martin Collis, PhD |
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We are working our way through the M.E.L.L.O.W. acronym with each issue of WELL. So far we have looked at Magic of the Mind, Exercise and Laughter. In this issue our focus is Love.
I am a physiologist by trade and I have made a practice of being rigorous in requiring that something be measurable before I give it serious consideration. It took a few years and a lot of reading before I realized that love and intimacy could be quantified in a consistent and replicable manner. I did a lot of my physiology courses in the medical school at Stanford and can never remember love being mentioned as being a factor in someone's vulnerability to disease. Yet we now know that love and closeness influences health, overall quality of life and premature death. It's not surprising that careful professionals are wary of using 'love' as part of any healing formulae. The word 'love' has been co-opted and corrupted by every sleazy, snake-oil salesperson, pulp fiction writer and pop song lyricist, not to mention religious zealots. (I think it was Dave Barry who noted that when God really has a message for the world he won't use as his messenger a man with a bad haircut on cable TV talking about love and requesting gifts and donations.) But despite its exploitation and despite the company it keeps and despite the abuses and the lies; love prevails. In the most unlikely places, at the most improbable times, in the words of Leonard Cohen, "Love calls you by her name." Recently I went to the Edmonton Folk Music Festival, with its usual wondrous and eclectic array of performers, everyone from Odetta to Jackson Browne, from Steve Earle to Wilson Pickett. The highlight for me was Garnet Rogers, who for so long performed in the shadow of his dead brother Stan Rogers. But Garnet is a performer of great substance in his own right and has battled depression, alcohol and life itself to emerge as a powerful, authentic Canadian artist. His lyrics can be bleak, but there is always the possibility of redemption. But among the darkness and his droll humor emerged a paean to love.
This song is called 'Thanksgiving Eve' and was written by Bob Franke in honor of Rick and Lorraine Lee's annual Thanksgiving celebration. It can be found on Garnet Roger's album and CD "Garnet Rogers." King, Russek et al. began the Harvard Study in the early 50's in which they gave questionnaires to 126 randomly chosen male students. The students were asked to describe their relationship with their parents.
Thirty-five years later medical records were obtained on these participants and detailed medical and psychological histories were conducted. 91% of those who scored low on the relationship with their mothers had serious diagnosed disease by midlife, (including cardio-vascular disease, hypertension, cancer, duodenal ulcers and alcoholism). Only 45% of those who had a good relationship with their mothers had significant diagnosed disease. (Less than half) When you combined the input of the relationship with the mother and the father, all (100%) of the participants who rated both parents low in warmth and closeness 35 years earlier had diseases diagnosed in midlife. I found the above reference in Dean Ornish's book 'Love and Survival, The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy' (which can be purchased at Amazon.com or Chapters.ca). Ornish is a cardiologist who used lifestyle techniques to literally reverse heart disease. However, in working with patients to modify diet and exercise he became more and more aware of the power of love, relationships and intimacy to influence health. In writing about love and intimacy Ornish notes:
King, Russek et al. expressed similar sentiments after the Harvard research. "The perception of love itself . . . may turn out to be a core biopsychosocial-spiritual buffer, reducing the negative input of stressors and pathogens and promoting immune function and healing." People often look for love in the same way they might look for a cure or diet. They feel once they find the right person (or diet) all will be well. (Remember the song 'Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places'?) But love is not about finding the right person, but being the right person. It's almost a law of physics, until you are able to freely give your love, it's impossible to receive love.
One of my favorite walks, is the sea wall around Stanley Park in Vancouver. The 10K circuit features many benches, each of which is marked with a dedication. A content analysis of each of these dedications shows that love is the overwhelming quality for which people are most remembered. (Incidentally there are no benches, which remember people for their material possessions. I've yet to see a marker saying "This is Fred's bench, he owned a Lexus.") The simple phrases remind us that we are not human doings or human havings, we are human beings who can improve the world and their own quality of life with love and kindness.
Loving touch is well known to nurses and enlightened physicians. An example of the power of touch is the change in the way we now care for premature infants. It was found that infants that were touched and caressed regularly had twice the growth rate and half the hospital stays compared with infants who received little tactile stimulation in their incubators. It concerns me that in an era of political correctness I know many teachers and professors that will not touch, let alone hug, their students for fear of a sexual harassment complaint. Yet students, like everyone else from premature babies to senior citizens, need the reassurance that can come with a hug or a hand on the shoulder. So there you have it! Love is a powerful part of wellness. Love yourself, love those around you, love this life you've been given. I'll close with a few reminders on the importance of love and kindness.
P.S. Continuing to practice what we preach, or maybe preach what we practice, there's lots of love interest at Speakwell these days. Our Webmaster Luke Niedjalski announced his engagement to Lindsey Grover who works in the world of finance and has contributed to WELL in the past.
Lindsey and Luke Martin and Nancy Wardle are also engaged. Nancy is another WELL contributor and often works with him on speaking engagements such as This Day Is For You.
Martin and Nancy Our first executive director at Speakwell, Dino Asproulopos, who left to follow his loved one to her home in Sydney, Australia is now back in Canada. It was a successful mission and Dino and Angela are now in Toronto where Dino is studying for his M.B.A. with an international specialization, while Angela is applying for jobs to put her urban planning qualifications to work. (Toronto needs all the help it can get.) No picture sorry. |
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| Contact Information |
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Phone: (250) 721-6997 Fax: (250) 721-6929 Email: mcollis@speakwell.com |
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