911

By Martin Collis

Bertrand Russell said, "The problem with the World is that it's filled with fools and fanatics who are certain of themselves and their theories, while wiser people are so full of doubts." Our problem is how to be wise and yet still be decisive.

I received a torrent of email, associated with September 11, much of which was thoughtful, and some very moving. I am including some of the highlights as links, and I'll offer one personal story.

A few years back I stayed in New York (Brooklyn to be precise) with a unique and wonderful family comprising a mother, three sons (Roger, Pon and Ken) and a daughter. One always had to expect the unusual and surprising when staying with the Owens family. "It's the New York marathon tomorrow, let's do it" and they did, with zero training. Pon is a firefighter and the most unpredictable; his mother told me that she asked him to take out the garbage one day and he replied, "I can't, I'm going to Mongolia." and off he went. Roger is a cop and perhaps the only one of New York's finest to have a passionate interest in the poetry and music of Bob Dylan (that's my connection to him). The 3rd brother, Ken, was married to the personal assistant to Andy Warhol.

Once I'd seen the Twin Towers fall and allowed my mind to focus on particulars I kept wondering whether Roger, the cop, and Pon, the firefighter, were involved and still alive. To my relief, joy and grief (part of the problem with this tragedy is you don't know what to feel) this bittersweet email was forwarded to me by a friend.

Hello Jim,

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. New York City isn't the same to me anymore. Nor do I think it ever will be. I've been working 14 to 18 hours everyday. Haven't had a day off yet. Look at me complaining, I'm alive and well and so is my family, I guess God really is on the Owens' side. We are EXTREMELY lucky to have Pon with us. His survival is a miracle, along with hundreds of other miracles I know about. He's home now with 4 broken ribs and an eye injury but most of his pain stems from the fact that he is the only one from his company to still be here. I have lost 4 close friends. He has lost dozens. He was missing for about 11 hours when we got word he wound up in New Jersey (of all places).

I've been down at the recovery site every other day either passing buckets, searching for remains or sifting through rubble. Each time I can't help but think back to those "great" old days the last time I was in the Twin Towers with you and Martin Collis.

Stay in touch.
God Bless & love,
Roger

A couple of closing observations. To me it was significant that all those last minute cell phone calls from the hijacked planes were about love and connection, not retribution. I was moved by Rick Reilly's commentary in the September 24th Sports Illustrated about the passengers who fought back in the United Flight 93 which crashed near Pittsburgh killing no-one, but those onboard.

"Shoved together were four remarkable men who didn't much like being shoved around. One was publicist Mark Bingham, 31, who helped Cal. win the 1991 and '93 national collegiate rugby championships. He was a surfer, and in July he was carried on the horns of a bull in Pamplona. Six-foot-five, rowdy and fearless, he once wrestled a gun from a mugger's hand late at night on a San Francisco street."

"In the heart of San Francisco's largest gay neighborhood, a makeshift memorial grew, bouquet by bouquet, to the rugby player who was unafraid. Yeah, Bingham was gay."

Particularly poignant and apt in the light of Jerry Falwell's insensitive comments.

So what's the wellness answer to all this. Don Ardell has some interesting thoughts (see the ELECTRONIC ARDELL WELLNESS REPORT (E-AWR) #94 -September 19, 2001 at www.wellnessweb.com

I called family and friends, I called people I'd been meaning to call for months and years, and I held my new wife Nancy very, very close.

The following "SARAH" model outlines the classic "Stages of Grief".
Though the manifestations - and timing - vary from person to person, ALL human beings must move through each stage in order to reach full acceptance...and hope. Otherwise, we can become "stuck" in one or more stages (e.g., resignation, or vacillating between anger and denial).

• Shock - numbness, confusion, disorientation
• Anger and/or (directed inward) - depression, sadness, fear
• Rejection - including denial of emotional impact
• Acceptance or (negatively) - resignation (hopeless "acceptance")
• Hope - positive focus on the future

Our acronym for this issue was sent to us by Bill Dickerson.

A World-Wide Tragedy
This web site was forwarded by Scott Sieben.
Go to… http://www.auburn.edu/~peckrob/wtc_tribute.html to view an informative page about the tragedy.

A Traveling Essay
Dr. John Paul Lederach's essay was forwarded to Speakwell via email. To read "The Challenge of Terror: A Traveling Essay" click here.

Say It Better September Bulletin by Kare Anderson
Go to: http://www.sayitbetter.com or email: kareand@aol.com