Your Speakwell Christmas Card Greetings and Grins Christmas greetings from the growing Speakwell family.

In a time of global tumult, never let go of the possibility of peace. For as Emily Dickenson reminded us.

"Hope is the thing with feathers That perches on the soul That sings the tune without the words And never stops at all."

This season we wish you joy, for "To miss the joy is to miss it all."

We wish you peace and serenity. "Speak through the earthquake, wind and fire thou still small voice of calm."

And of course we wish you love, "What can we do with each moment of our life but love till we've loved it away."

When I walk around Stanley Park in Vancouver there are hundreds of benches dedicated to different people. The plaques on those benches give silent testimony to what is important in this world, and the things for which you are valued or remembered. The plaques talk of love, kindness, family, laughter and caring. All the things that make the Christmas season meaningful and magical. We're human beings, not human havings or human doings.

This year I added a plaque dedicated to my new wife Nancy so she now has her own special bench in Stanley Park.

Christmas Carols for the Dysfunctional

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me.

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and...

PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell Rock,

BIGTIME PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Songs & Poetry

Satirist, Tom Lehrer, celebrates the commercial spirit of Christmas

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")

It doesn't matter how sincere it is,
Nor how heart felt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!

So, let the raucous sleighbells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

Abou Ben Adhem

by James Leigh Hunt

Abu Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace
And saw within the moonlight in his room
Making it rich and like a lily in bloom
An angel writing in a book of gold.
Exeeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold
And to the presence in his room he said
"What writest thou?" The angel,
With a look of all sweet accord answered,
"The names of those who love the lord!"
"And is mine one?", said Abu,
"Nay… not so", replied the angel.
Abu spoke more low but cheerly still and said,
"Write me as one that I love my fellowmen."
The angel wrote and vanished.
The next night it came in a great wakening light
And showed the names whom love of God has blessed,
And Lo!! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest!

A poem from England's somewhat improbable Poet Laureate back in the 70's. The poem 'Christmas' deservedly appears in many anthologies, but less well known in his poem "Advent 1955" which, lie Tom Lehrer's song, bemoans the commercialism of Christmas.

Advent 1955

by Sir John Betjeman

And how, in fact, do we prepare
For the great day that waits us there -
The twenty-fifth day of December,
The birth of Christ? For some it means
An interchange of hunting scenes
On coloured cards. And I remember
Last year I sent out twenty yards,
Laid end to end, of Christmas cards
To people that I scarcely know -
They'd send a card to me, and so
I had to send one back. Oh dear!
Is this a form of Christmas cheer?
Or is it, which is less surprising,
My pride gone in for advertising?
The only cards that really count
Are that extremely small amount
From real friends who keep in touch
And are not rich but love us much.
Some ways indeed are very odd
By which we hail the birth of God.
We raise the price of things in shops,
We give plain boxes fancy tops
And lines which traders cannot sell
Thus parcell'd go extremely well.
We dole out bribes we call a present
To those to whom we must be pleasant
For business reasons. Our defence is
These bribes are charged against expenses
And bring relief in Income Tax.
Enough of these unworthy cracks!
'The time draws near the birth of Christ',
A present that cannot be priced
Given two thousand years ago.
Yet if God had not given so
He still would be a distant stranger
And not the Baby in the manger.

Christmas

by Sir John Betjeman

The bells of waiting Advent ring,
The Tortoise stove is lit again
And lamp-oil light across the night
Has caught the streaks of winter rain
In many a stained-glass window sheen
From Crimson Lake to Hooker's Green.

The holly in the windy hedge
And round the Manor House the yew
Will soon be tripped to deck the ledge,
The altar, font and arch and pew,
So that the villagers can say
"The church looks nice" on Christmas Day.

Provincial public houses blaze
And Corporation tramcars clang,
On lighted tenements I gaze
Where paper decorations hang,
And bunting in the red Town Hall
Says "Merry Christmas to you all."

And London shops on Christmas Eve
Are strung with silver bells and flowers
As hurrying clerks the City leave
To pigeon-haunted classic towers,
And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky.

The girls in slacks remember Dad,
And oafish louts remember Mum,
And sleepless children's hearts are glad,
And Christmas-morning bells say "Come!"
Even to shining ones who dwell
Safe in the Dorchester Hotel.

And is it true? And is it true,
This most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?

And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant,

No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking air,
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives to-day in Bread and Wine.

Christmas Cartoons

"Well, it's no wonder you haven't been feeling too well lately, Santa ... you're 93% pure cholesterol.

"Unbeknownst to most theologians, there was a fourth wiseman,
who was turned away for bringing a fruitcake."

My Favourite Things

1 Book and 2 CD's and 1 movie
for this or any other season.

The Shepherd Frederick Forsyth (Book) Forsyth is the master of intrigue and best selling spy stories, but wrote one little classic story called 'The Shepherd.' It is read every Christmas to huge listener acclaim on CBC. If you've not come across it check your bookstore, library or maybe even the internet for 'The Shepherd.'

Amelie (Film) I can give multiple thumbs up to the new French film, Amélie. This is an intelligent, funny, joyful and flawless film. There's a song by Rick Brockner called, 'Fragments of Perfection' and it came to mind as I watched this movie. There are no car chases, severed limbs or mind-numbing special effects, just a slice of human life so brilliantly and lovingly observed that you walk out of the cinema knowing that, yes indeed there's hope for our wayward species.

Winter Harp Alan Woodland (CD) A sublime CD of ancient Christmas music played on instruments as old as the tunes. Also includes one or two new carols written by lead singer, Lori Pappajohn. Winter Harp is a local BC group who takes its name from the wind which blows through the frozen icicle stings of a waterfall, creating the almost other worldly sounds of a winter harp. "Winter is the pause that gives life meaning; the darkness that defines the light. Winter takes us and holds us in its chill hands. We go down into it as the sun goes down into it. In its depths we learn who we are. We gather, express our fears, our hopes. Spring slops easily into summer and summer into autumn, but winter is a fortress with walls. Within those shadowed walls is Christmas with its ancient ceremonies and rich literature of carols and songs to gladden the heart. In the darkest moments of winter, a candle burns."

Calm Down Nancy Wardle, MD (CD) Four years ago I sat in the back of a conference room and listened to a brilliant presentation by a physician who specialized in helping people deal with the stress of medical crisis and others for whom stress was threatening to make their lives unmanageable. I walked out of the session feeling centered, calm and very inspired with the eloquent and empathetic presenter. As a speaker who attends many conferences, I sit through many presentations and this was one of the best I'd heard. Four years later I'm married to that speaker who is Nancy Wardle, MD, one of Western Canada's leading Mind/Body Physicians who has recently released her new CD "Calm Down." Now everyone can access the meditation magic that Nancy has used for years with her clients who need to enhance their stress resiliency and patients. Calm Down includes a series of guided meditations and relaxation exercises (and one song) that use various mind/body breath techniques. She will lead your mind/body to the relaxation response prescribed by Herbert Benson of Harvard University with whom Nancy studied. For more information about Calm Down please go to: http://www.speakwell.com/well/2001_fall/4.shtml To order Calm Down please go to: http://www.speakwell.com/wellMart/orderForm.shtml

New Company Policies

Sent to us by Charles. L. Sterling

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your replacement.

REST ROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE:
It has been brought to our attention that some employees seem to be having difficulty understanding their paycheck deductions stub, the following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns,complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation's, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.

MANAGEMENT